Episode III: David Lynch-able

This is the only podcast episode ever where both Lost Highway and the Expendables were the main reasons for podcasting. Ever. Did I say ever? Ever.

Lost Highway was hands down the biggest WTF?! film I have ever seen. Ever. I'm sorry WE, that We have ever seen. The entire movie I was so confused, and flat out did not like it at all. Honestly I can not believe that I finished it, awake. I left the theater, Brewvies, glad that it was Monday Free Movie Night. If I had paid for it I would have pulled the eyes out of a homeless midget. Not only was I confused but I was obviously bitter, so bitter, to my core.

It wasn't until I got home with my buddies and did the podcast that I grew to love this movie. I'm sorry, WE. After talking about this movie and recording our thoughts for all to hear, we all grew to appreciate the complexity of not only the story contained within, but the techniques used to tell this far-fetched tale. Seriously watch this movie and listen to our podcast. This movie will have you saying WTF for the entire two hours. That is a personal guarantee. Oh and for the record Patricia Arquette was a fox in the day, and I always seem to forget that. Her show The Medium is terrible. Bill Pullman is a squinty-eyed bastard who actually acted for this movie, David Lynch you did the impossible. Robert Blake looked like Buffalo Bill's creepy uncle who played naked fondle touch tag with him as a child in a basement with a well.

The Expendables on the other hand was the least complex thing I ever saw. That movie was so good it still amazes me that it hasn't won every award that has ever been given out. What a joyous ride of happiness for me, Zo, the king of dick flicks and action awesome. It was crammed full of every action star that was relevant at one time, except Dolph, who was never relevant, and Chuck, who's relevancy has lowered the crime rate everywhere except African diamond mines. Van Damme was also not in this movie, because he wants to be taken more seriously, what a douche! You're biggest film was Timecop!

This film has everything that anyone could ever want. Explosions, Stallone shirtless, Rourke's terrible fingers and a montage of planting explosives. Stallone in all of his action nobility is able to throw in a few of his deep emotional sensiblities through terribly executed quips. Good. Good. He tries to connect with the American audience with spouting off deep thoughts as people are being blown in half with shotties and stabbed in the face with knives, I mean swords. This movie kicked ass and destroyed an island and its people. Run to see it!

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